10 Best Creative (vs. Common) Interview Questions

10 best creative interview questions

We are all likely familiar with a courteous question like “how are you” when really the time doesn’t allow for an authentic answer. Similarly when you consider how much time you’ll spend working in your career, the idea of really getting to know you would benefit the employer and you alike. Why not dive deeper and ask creative and effective questions vs. common familiar ones?

The idea behind preparing to answer creative questions (compared to common interview questions) is that the interviewer is able to better understand your character, personality, and agility. Anyone can prepare for the standard questions with rote answers likened to cramming for a test. What does this tell your future employer about the uniqueness of you - that you test well!

More and more employees are implementing a creative approach with a desire to really get to know how you’re different, qualified and a team player.

Consider too, interviewing is not limited to words alone. Outside the interview room, tasks may be included in this process such as asking you to do something under pressure or riding in a car with you to lunch to see your driving style. The holistic approach to interviewing should not be overlooked.

The more prepared you are, you will discover your true self under pressure can show up agile, willing to go with the flow, with a sense of humor when things go wrong and be open to correction. Aren’t these the soft skills you’ve worked hard to embody? Ultimately this is the goal interviewers are getting at with these questions above and beyond any “right” or “wrong” answer you could cram for. They want to see that you are not only qualified to do the work, but truly the best candidate for the long term.

Below are a list of common interview questions compared to creative alternatives. Prepare for both and see how you show up more prepared than your peers. Bottom line: Be prepared, honest, flexible, and concise.

Common Interview Questions: 

1)    Tell me something about yourself.

2)    What did you like about your last job?

3)    Why did you leave your last job?

4)    What can you bring to this company/organization/team?

5)    What specific skills to you have for this type of work?

6)    What is your greatest strength?

7)    Tell me about your work history?

8)    What would your employers say about your past work experience?

9)    In what way do you feel you can make the biggest contribution to this company?

10) What five words describe you best?

11) Do you consider yourself a team player?

12) What motivates you?

13) Describe your working style?

14) What is your biggest accomplishment?

15) Anything else we should know about your work history?

16) Who is your role model, and why?

Examples of Creative interview Questions:

1)    If you could live anywhere, where would you live? This question indirectly asks about your hobbies. Hidden within it, are the questions: Do you like to travel? Would you want to relocate?

2)    If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life what would it be? Better than, “tell me more about yourself?”, this question gets at your interests and openness not to mention cultural awareness and greater worldview. My husband Jeff answered Kale and I answered Asian food! His response, was wait a minute I thought you said food. My understanding of the question was type of food - way more flexible! Even in a simple question like this you can see the discretion and ability to think outside the box!

3)    What was the last gift you gave to someone? And who was it?   The question is getting at are you generous, kind, thoughtful? Do you have a good memory! Are you intentional?

4)    What is an unpopular opinion you hold? Persuasiveness or uniqueness? You decide. I love this question because it tells me that we can hold unpopular opinions and be open to disagreement. It also gives space for contradiction in the simplest of ways from a disliked movie to a deeper political stance. I’d probably err on the side of something slightly shallow in the first round and see where things go from there. (i.e. I think the STAR WARS series is over-rated!)

5)    What is the last best movie (book, article) you read? Are you well-informed, a life-long learner, interesting and/or insightful. Be prepared to talk about something of interest. It may or may not relate to the work you do, relatable is better than obscure.

6)    What advice would you give your former boss? Delicate, yes. But simultaneously insightful into your relationship with past employers or supervisors. As well, notable what traits you value and need in your working world.

7)    If you were an animal what animal would you be? Without asking are you a people person, you can learn a lot about someone from this question. Your answer can speak to traits you share in common with a familiar creature without having to state, I’m funny, fun, loving, etc.

8)    What do you do to rejuvenate? Or describe an ideal Saturday? Again, this question may be asking about hobbies or it may be asking about boundaries. What does your work-life balance look like and how are you caring for yourself. Do we share similar values on the idea of rest?

9)    What does your ideal working environment look like? Whether or not an organization can accommodate your ideal working needs, if this question was asked, I would jump at the opportunity to say I work really well collaborating with others and then going back to my work alone. Basically stating, can I work remotely without micro-management and with or without people?

10) Which year of your life would you like to relive? This question allows you to highlight something others may never ask you about. I love this question as it basically is, tell me more about yourself! What brings you life and why? 

Bonus: What’s one thing about you that people don’t ask but that you’d like others to know?

Preparing with these types of questions in mind gives you the leg up! As you can imagine it also gives you the opportunity to prepare not only for your vocation, but also the relationships that will make up your work environment. A good interview allows your potential future employer to see your unique attributes and learn more about you both inside of work and outside. Don’t be shy, let yourself shine! Be concise and don’t forget that you can also ask intelligent and thoughtful questions in return.

For further reflection:

Which question would you like to answer? Have you been in an interview like this that allowed your best attributes to shine?

The Two Phantoms of the Transition Opera: Loss & Stress (part I)

by Jeff Simons

Phantom I: Loss (and his twin, Grief)

I sit in the gorgeous chapel of a Retreat Center outside of Woodland Park, in view of Pike’s Peak, for a 4-day spiritual retreat…I’m asking the Father… and listening… and trying to find my way into healthy grieving and mourning of my earthly father, who passed just one month ago, at the age of 83.

Three months ago, in an attempt at a Covid-clouded family reunion in Mexico, and celebration of my parent’s 60th anniversary, my dad’s health took a major dive on day 1 of the trip; and we almost lost him. I ended up stuck in a hospital in Mexico with him for 10 days as he went through severe and unexplainable symptoms, complete loss of reality and memory, and all the messy and visceral challenges that come with a body and person breaking down.

We finally got him back to California, to the care of his doctor and several specialists. The cause remained an undiagnosed mystery, but he began to bounce back and was able to eventually return home. A few weeks later, however, a major stroke and stage-4 pancreatic cancer diagnosis found him being transitioned to his final few days in hospice. We were all barely able to gather as a family to say our last goodbyes, and put together a memorial service.

After what was a whirlwind of emotions, we are all left to figure out how to navigate the grieving process in our own ways…

This is death #5 in our family in the last eight months.

It’s been 2.5 years after our decision to move back from over 8 years of service as a family in Spain, and then the resulting transition to follow, complicated and elongated awkwardly by the Covid pandemic.

In part of the group discernment process that Sara and I underwent to decide whether it was time to: 1) leave Spain, 2) move off the team I was then serving with, and 3) stay with the same organization; one thing became very clear from the the Lord in that time…It was time to return to the US for a season of parent care.

Now, my parents as well as Sara’s had experienced some ailments thus far, but nothing so urgent that we felt pressured to quickly move in hope of being with them in their final days. However, it was apparent on our hearts, and those on our discernment team, that this was becoming a priority, on the personal front.

I carry great gratitude now to the Lord for His leading us to be Stateside these past 2 years, and to have some more quality moments with my parents before my dad’s passing. There remain areas that we are still in transition and stabilizing as a family in Colorado; and the decline of my father’s health, more pre-mature than any of us imagined, has been a significant part of this transition for us.

Transition, no matter how positive, no matter how “well” things are going according to plan, or no matter how tumultuous and sudden it is, come accompanied by two surprising and unavoidable undercurrents (phantoms, really) that we are often not aware of, and rarely give enough credit to, until they sneak up on us:

1. Loss (and his twin, Grief)

   and

2. Illusive Stress

Here’s what I’m being reminded of in this sudden time of grief. Both of these phantoms:

• diminish our capacity and efficiency by at least 50% while in transition, and surround us in a fog.

• neither can be sped up—though much can be done to slow down or stall your journey, if you’re unaware.

• require more internal and emotional work, rather than external fix-its or solutions—they can’t be intellectualized away!

• and despite the level of humility the Lord has transformed us toward, we ALL struggle with admitting that these “ghosts” are present, and that we cannot expel them on our own, despite our perceived strength!

We need help.

Loss and Grief come at us from a variety of trajectories, and often in combination(!), during transition:

• They Follow you! For example:

  • The missing and distancing of friendships and joys that were gifts in the place that you’re leaving

  • Questions about effectiveness during your time and work there… what didn’t transpire as quickly, or AT ALL, that you hoped would? Will the seeds you planted and the relationships you built last, or continue to make an impact?

  • What belongings, some sacred, have had to be left behind in the sorting toward affordable shipping, or in the suddenness of your forced move?

• They’re Out In Front of you!

  • There may be real loss that you are moving toward: the loss of a loved one, parent caregiving, specialized assistance for your struggling child…

  • Questions about what vocation and work will look like going forward… will it be as fulfilling, or I’m I going into a “hidden season”?

  • What remains of the familiar life we used to know back “home” (if you call it that anymore) as people’s lives have moved on and changed since we left, the country has changed, WE have changed. What is the new ME in this re-entry space?

• They’re Inside you!

  • What is my identity now in this “no man’s land”?

  • Where is God in all of these rapids? And if you had to depart unexpectedly or suddenly: Does God know what He’s doing? Why bring me all the over here after all that work, time and transition to simply pull me out, all of a sudden?

  • What are my gifts and skills rooted in now, and will they find root again in a meaningful and impactful way.

• They’re Alongside of you, too! Yikes.

  • Did I bring the “right” stuff with me? Did I leave the “right” stuff behind?

  • How am I to lead my family members well in this transition, when I feel the panicky edge and instability of this suspended season myself?

  • How do I explain this transition to others in a way that makes sense, when I can’t even make sense of it all?

As Kenneth Haugk(*) reminds us: “Grief is normal, natural, and necessary.” It happens to everyone, it cannot be avoided, it is NOT a sign of weakness (though left unattended, it can be very harmful), and you can only go THROUGH it, not around it. So, give yourself permission to grieve, knowing that the wise and strong response is to embrace it, befriend it, feel it, find God waiting for you right in the midst of it to make you stronger, and to allow the Body to journey in it with you.

Loss & Grief, the 2-headed phantom, manifest in us in different ways at different times for different people: some have trouble sleeping, others find it hard to get out of bed. Some find their minds preoccupied and unable to focus on tasks, reading or decision making; others find themselves laser focusing on one thing, and unable to take in the bigger picture around them. Others find themselves trapped in the loop of processing, conflict in relationships, and the “what ifs” they could have chose.

These are all normal human responses to grief and loss, you are NOT GOING CRAZY, and there is an extra need for grace for yourself and others in this season. Having a safe place to process this, with a trained therapist or pastoral counselor is always a plus, especially if it seems totally overwhelming, or if there is potential of harm to yourself or others.

Making Friends with the Phantom

Here are some suggested ways to engage grief well, learned from our own journeys, and that of Kenneth Haugk:

1. As you identify your losses during transition, list them out! Then, do small acts to commemorate the losses, on your own or as a family. For example, create some space and time, light a simple candle, name the loss aloud, leave space for it to be acknowledged, felt and honored, then blow the candle out when you’re ready. Repeat for each loss, and repeat the practice as needed or desired. Think of other simple actions you could take that have meaning for you, and are easy and mobile during transition. This will help provide tangible “rails to run on” for healthy grieving.

2. Leave space and grace for others and yourself. As we mentioned, everyone will ride through the grief waves and emotions in their own order, timing, and in their own way. Don’t prescribe for yourself or others a particular WAY to do it. Try to practice grace at the same level God extends grace to you…

3. Use a variety of ways to engage your body and creativity! Remember, grief has to be worked out emotionally and spiritually, not so much intellectually. Go for a walk or run, do art, journal, lift weights, yell in a pillow or in your car, do yoga, try new prayer methods, stand up and “shake it out” frequently. Find ways that fit you! Feel free to try different methods over time.

4. Take Care of YOU: Attend to your emotional, relational, physical and spiritual needs in transition. Many in ministry are used to caring for the needs of others, and often neglect their own needs. This is a time that calls for righteous counter-intuition! The better you care for yourself during grief, the better you serve others! Plan to take a slower pace in order to make space for this healing restoration. You do not need to prove to yourself or ANYONE anything by trying to force and push the grief and transition to materialize faster. Either God is taking care of this transition season, and you can trust Him; or you need to foolishly push and pull and stress things out in the decision making, which almost always ends up slowing the transition season, and increasing the pain that goes with it, for you and those around you!

5. Be Patient with the Fog: You are, in many ways, suspended in no-man’s land during this time. If transitioning internationally, you may be in international waters. You’re past immigration and customs, you’re waiting at a gate, but you’re not firmly in either the place you called home, or the place you used to call home. (I’ll let you decide which is which!) Or you feel like your life is hanging somewhere over the ocean still, though the plane has landed already.

   Or maybe there is no place to call “home” in this season! There can be an invigorating adventurousness to transition, like the adrenaline of a trapeze artist who has released grip on one swing, but is mid-air and wondering if the other swing will arrive in time! But usually “overwhelm” is the heavier force… of decision-making, of unanswered questions, of unnamed losses, the results of the dis-integration happening in your life. People often use some of these terms to describe the phenomenon: “a second spinning brain that won’t turn off, trying to figure it all out, even while I’m sleeping”, “forgetful and confused”, “making silly mistakes I don’t normally make”, “like I’m just going through the motions, but feel robotic and cut off from my emotions”, “functioning at 50%”, “disoriented, floating, delayed”. Be patient and graceful with yourself. The fog will diminish, and you will return to your normal capacity in time.

Lastly, but most importantly, I’m reminding myself, that God is just as present, perhaps even MORE SO, right in the center of your/my grief, as He is in your joyous seasons. It may be difficult to feel or sense Him amidst all the movement and noise, but just as we see throughout the Psalms, he invites us to approach his throne with confidence, and to bear our true feelings and hearts to him. That is the place where He meets us in the most powerful and transforming way, and shares in our grief.

In my listening during this time in the mountains, God brought to my remembrance a vision he gave me 3 years ago, before even the decision to return the the States was on the table. I was knelt at his feet, and he said to me, I will be your “Stable Father”. This name for my grief Companion now takes on a whole new meaning as He sustained me this past few months through the dark days of the mental and physical instability of my own dad. And though my earthly father is no longer with me, my stable Father shares in my grieving alongside me and invites me into a new aspect of communion with Him.

Peace and courage on your journey of discernment and re-integration during the losses (and GAINS!) of your transition.

You are not alone…

For reflection:

1. If grief follows you, is alongside of you, out in front of you and behind you—consider, where are you currently most impacted by it?

2. What are your thoughts on when you are “supposed to” move back from cross-cultural living, to attend to the parent care season? What assumptions do you, your parents, or your organization hold?

[Pictured above: Christ accepts help from Simon in a moment of his deepest grief. We too can reach out to the Body in our own grief!]

For further reading:

• A Grief Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss, Jerry L. Sittser

• A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis

• Journeying Through Grief: 4 Book series, Kenneth C. Haugk

Keep or Save: Practical Tips for Down-sizing or Moving

How to get rid of your belongings before moving.

I used to have an organizing business called transitionlight for people who had recently lost a love one. I would come in as a coach, listener and organizer and evaluate if they were in a place to start sorting and downsizing their loved-ones belongings. Many times the answer was evident that the client was in a deep grieving period and they needed to wait at least a day, week or a few months to make major decisions. If the answer was to move forward, they would contract my services to evaluate how to best help them keep, sell or donate their treasures. This was compassion work. It was hard physically and emotionally. It was also incredibly rewarding.

So much of that work applies to working with cross-cultural workers who are leaving their home country or re-turning home. Anyone who has done this type of patriating or repatriating work, recognizes that moving is an inevitable part of the job. And some of us have had way TOO much experience at it! However, we forget that belongings and decisions about belongings require an incredible amount of mental energy. 

Here are some of my top tips when it comes to organizing the logistics of your belongings for your own mental sanity.

Start Early/Sort Often: 

Sorting for an hour a week over the course of many months can save you weeks of work in a stressful season of transition. Keeping it simple and doing it a little at a time is often the best measure of prevention in caring for your brain and your body. If a move is likely on the horizon, start sorting (not packing) as soon as you possibly can. That way when the time comes to actually putting things in boxes you are not sorting, you are just packing.

Employ Help:

Walking with people in this process can be tedious, but a huge gift. In the end, if I or someone other than the client was willing to re-distribute or discard the “no” piles– garbage, recycling, donation center, etc., it made progress that much more efficient.  

Whether you regularly use methods of organizing like the recently popularized, Marie Kondo or tend towards hoarding for a rainy day, we all have our areas of strengths and weaknesses when it comes to our attachment to treasures. The majority of the work I did with transitionlight, was to come alongside of people in a time of bereavement and help them to make clear and thoughtful decisions. I would ask them 1 simple question – Would you like to keep, sell or donate this item? It was simple for me, as an outsider, but proved painful and belaboring for someone in a time of extreme stress lacking the emotional capacity to make clear decisions.

Give yourself grace. Organize when you have the mental fortitude. To answer this one question, we created 3 piles: a yes - keep, no - get rid of and a maybe pile. (If the answer was, “I don’t know,” a second decision would have to be made. I would discourage this but not taboo it!) 

One element of this work which I found most fascinating, is that almost anything in the “maybe” pile quickly made it to the “no” pile if a client could think of someone else who could use it. Now, understandably, not everyone feels as sentimental about receiving a holey blanket or an old pair of shoes. To ward off potential family disputes, I created a list of local places that had specific needs – animal shelters that needed blankets, libraries that wanted books, schools that desired art supplies, you get the point.

Giving away sentimental  items becomes easier, even for those with hoarding tendencies, when their treasures are desired by others. 

Implement Creative Conservation I, as a coach and supportive outsider, would suggest creative ways of “keeping” things without having to literally keep the physical object. Take a picture, or conserve by employing someone to make a quilt of those 50 sentimental t-shirts, or a scrapbook of the 1000 pictures. Donate the 50 ball jars, or repurpose those tins into storage containers. Creative thinking was welcome, (but not at the expense of belabored decision-making).  Remember, closed questions that require a simple yes or no are easier to answer than “what would you like to do with this”!

Sell with limits

When we recently moved we had good stuff, not amazing and not new. But good. And resellable in the community in which we were living. It was hard to find garage sales or freecycle opportunities in this foreign country (and in a pandemic). That said, I created an elaborate LIVE google document with pictures and detailed explanations of each item so we could avoid lots of messages. (this is something someone else can help with). Here’s the process: 

1.    Create a live google document that you or someone else is willing to manage. Take good pictures, or borrow the originals from website and share as much and as HONEST of information as you would want if you were buying it so you can minimize the amount of communication needed. (i.e. Does it have stains, how big is it, how old is it?) 

2. Get your items prepared. Wash, clean, and make your item look like you would want to buy it. It doesn’t have to be new, but the value will greatly increase if it looks like it.

3.    We sent out the link to targeted people we knew were moving into the area or within the area and asked them to reply back on what they wanted us to hold. After a few targeted messages we opened it up to a wide audience and asked people to share. We asked that they pay in paypal, ahead of time if possible in the currency of the country we were moving to (not living in). We needed the money for where we were headed not where we were. And we needed them not to be flakey!

4.    We then set up LIMITED pickup times. When I say limited, I mean limit it! Don’t be flexible on this. You are moving and it is a lot of work. Ask others to come to you and come within two windows or you won’t have it by X time. For example: Tuesday 12-3 and Thursday 3-6. Because most people in our network understood the strain of this type of move. They were supportive and respectful of this request. THIS MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN OUR TIME! We’re talking about communicating with 30 people over weeks vs. 30 people in 6 hours. Paying ahead of time eased the burden of the money exchange, as well.

5.    Have a “for sale” & “for free sale”. We were setting up the little items that we didn’t take pictures of for a garage sale at the end of the week. Now, let me just add that garage sales can be a big pain without a lot of gain. But the good thing was that when people came to “pick up” their larger reserved items, we had our garage sale set up ready for shopping. Nearly everyone that bought a bigger item also bought several smaller ones. And consider it a small miracle, several came back for more.

We didn’t pressure ourselves to have that all ready, but rather we were sorting throughout the week and keep adding to it. We also had a “please repurpose” section which was basically our free pile of half-used up boxes of toilet paper, non-expired food, and other small not-worth-it-to-ship-or-sell-treasures! 

Specific up-to-date descriptions + a good network (or networker depending on your scenario) + limited pick-up times. Amazed and surprised, every SINGLE thing on this list sold to people in our network! It felt like a sheer miracle (there were over 50 items...think appliances and furniture and such.) and we received over $3000. We also had a small garage sale with what was leftover. This brought in just $300... which didn't seem very worth it except my son sold some of his treasures and that was fun for him. The rest we donated. It is a lot of work! Pace yourself and employ help.

On that note….

Exercise Good Self-Care

Besides helping people sort their things into 3 piles, the other top value I was needed for most was reminding people to take care of themselves. BREATHE, BREAKS, WATER, FOOD, SLEEP. Very basic and very necessary self-care requirements for good and effective decision-making. The most obvious – breathe – is one nearly everyone needs help with when doing the hard work of organizing especially in transition. It’s amazing how often you hold your breath when you are doing stressful things. The other, take breaks and don’t organize for more than 3 hours at a time, was one I learned through my own research. Your brain can’t handle making these thousands of decisions all at once. 

If I was sitting with you before starting, I would ask you these few questions: 

“What do you value most?” (the answer may not be your belongings – it may be time if you have limited time)
“Is selling your treasures before leaving, worth your time and energy?” 

“What would you regret giving away?”
“Who can help you in this?”

“What has sentimental value from the place in which you are leaving?” (Give grace if this answer is different for each individual in a family).

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The Universal Creative Process and The Creation Timeline of My Unnamed Baby

INput overload…where to start and stop in the writing process?

The Universal Creative Process and The Creation Timeline of My Unnamed Baby

“If I permit my body to move - even just the movement of my hand, fingers, and arm with pen and marker - then my bones and muscles are content. I can become calm and relaxed enough to find inner stillness and to pay attention. In general it's not the body that needs to be stilled; it's my mind.” (Sybil McBeth)

This was my experience this past weekend as I set aside 3 days and 3 nights and was gifted time in a beautiful mountain home to write. The setting could not have been more idyllic (okay maybe minus the 17 college-aged kids who crashed everywhere in the house where I was invited into! Not my call! Just a minor obstacle).  From the mostly serene setting I had access to hikes, a few open rooms, a desk, a comfortable writing chair, the fast internet and a coffee shop within walking distance. What more could I want from a creative space? The truth – a clear mind and a way to organize my million scattered thoughts that seemed as though they would never find a clear way forward. That’s what more I wanted. That and about another month to stay in the zone. I struggle to just be in process. Like a vacation, it takes days to get into it and right when you do, you need to pack up. I wanted to just dive into the space, overcome obstacles and of course create at an unrealistically rapid speed. Let’s just say none of that perfect picture was how it all went down!  

Isn’t it true that you see great creative work and have no comprehension of all that it took to get there. Austin Kleon, in Steal Like an Artist, says “Really good work appears effortless! People won't see the years of work and toil you put into it” End products seem as though they magically appeared overnight but in reality it is years in the making that caused them to blossom into something beautiful.

I was reminded of this as I entered into this sacred creative process this weekend. It can take years of blood, sweat and tears to see a really good product, process or art come to fruition. 

 “Really good work appears effortless! People won't see the years of work and toil you put into it”

The language of the universal process to all things created brings comfort and validity to my inner discontent of wanting a creative product. My rational inner voice reminds me, “Sara, it’s a process, not a product.” I need the reminders for patience and a realistic horizon.

With that said, let me share the universal creative process and the intersecting points of my creation with the hope that this might bring you some point of reference for your own creative baby that you need to bring to life.

4 Stages of the Creative Process:

Start with - what is the question you are answering or problem you are trying to solve. (Examples: designing a logo, writing a story, writing a sermon, creating a website, creating an e-course.)

1. Preparation
   Research: Collect information or data.

   Questions to ask: Who am I designing this for (who is my target audience)? Who would benefit most? What do I uniquely have to offer here? What voice is still missing on this topic or in this field?

2. Incubation
   Percolation: Milling over collected information.

   Questions to ask: What is necessary to include or exclude? Do I have enough information or too much? What else do I need to learn more about right now? Where am I stuck? Who can help me with this?

3. Illumination
   Light Bulb Idea: Aha moment.

   Questions to ask: How am I answering the question or problem uniquely? How am I going to present/display/share this information? Who can help me with this?

4. Implementation
   Actual Making, creating: Verification.

   Questions to ask: Who can help me implement this? What am I still missing? Where can I see this product come to life? What else would I like to do with it?

I’m always curious about the timeline of beautiful creation and know there is a behind-the-scene story from inspiration to implementation. I want to know, How long was it in the making to choreograph that routine or illuminate the painting or pen that e-course? What did the maker space look like on a practical level? To gain a better understanding and appreciation of my own maker story, (and because I’m relieving my brain from sorting research quotes - aka desiring some movement from incubation to implementation), I decided to sketch a rough outline of the creative process of this book I’m writing on creativity and transition (still to be named). There are several creative processes that intermingle – The Art of Transition workbook, The Way Between as a developed organization, and the now Unnamed book that gives the backstory. For the sake of this conversation, I’m just focusing on the timeline of the book to date, starting with the inspiration of the workbook. Because truly a book was never a part of any plan and is still somewhat of a daunting element to me!  

Preparation: for the workbook, book 

2016-2017 – living out the message in deeply painful and dark ways. Negative preparation for what was to come; priming the pump knowing that there was something deeper to the approach of transition and calling which we had used for over 10 years. (In reality you could consider the 10 years leading up to this point as part of the preparation phase).

Incubation: for the workbook and book

Sept – Dec. 2017 – A four-month sabbatical (still in my cross-cultural context and with my family while Jeff worked full time) Sabbatical looked like a working sabbatical for me: 9am-2pm, 5 days a week plus two short trips away. In that time I met God on my yoga mat, hiked and researched varied areas of interest. I had the luxury of flexibility to say no to meetings and community gatherings. I spent time with friends who were life-giving and supportive. I took 2 different short classes that contributed to the work - one of which I dropped out of because it became too much to unpack at this particular season. I met with a therapist and a coach that kept me living the message and engaging with my head and my heart.

Illumination: for the workbook & book

Nov 2017 – I had enough supportive research to start creating the first draft process. I needed to get the material as it was to date, out of my head and into the world. I took 6 days and went to Mallorca, Spain on a creation retreat* with a friend. (While this sounds extravagant, I was elated to find tickets from Malaga, Spain where I was living at the time, that were $25 each way. I asked a friend who would join me in the space and split the cost of a place for less than $100 each.)

Nov – Dec 2017 – I came home from the retreat and refined the learnings and articulated the process to an “excellent enough” place to offer it to 10 people come the new year. 

Implementation for the workbook and Incubation for the book

Jan – Feb 2018 – I hesitantly released the material to an in-person target audience cohort (the who) over the course of 6 weeks; wrote supporting articles (content creation), weekly for two months to explain the workshop & process & give validity using the research I had collected. I quickly realized that while I created the process (the what), I still did not give voice to the explanation behind the process (the why).

May 2018 – I co-led a group of 8 women in transition on a spiritual pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago for a week and tried the matieral in a very loosely resembling form.

2018-2021 – Over the course of several years, I have tried the material out in at least 8 different formats; receiving ongoing feedback and tweaking it towards best practice all along the way. Painful no-shows and empty workshop spaces were all a part of this process. I quickly learned to acquire thick skin. As well I became painfully aware of my limitations and areas of lacking - I’m not good at marketing or social media relations! I had to and still have to include a number of people in this with me. This is my social support structure.

2017-2020 – After every course, I edited the workbook in several different drafts (really for all 8 different formats listed above I was modifying the content each time.) In Dec 2020 I finally put a pause on the editing with a graphic designer and patient friend and made the workbook an official publication. (Thank you Springtime Books).

2017-2020 – Gave what I was doing an official name - The Way Between and thewaybetween.org and starting blogging ideas around this material monthly. A big hairy audacious goal! Requiring daily steps of courage!

2020-2021 – Transitioned our family during a pandemic to the US to once again live out the message of the material. The book continues to gnaw at me as I lack the full courage (and time) to find my writing voice the material requires.  

Illumination period for the book (and back to Implementation)

TODAY Aug 2021 – Writing retreat*…I have spent 3 days consolidating and sorting 75 references from 6 years + of compiled material and lived experiences. I’m nowhere near complete - back to Implementation!

Honestly, I don’t feel totally content with where I am leaving things after 3 days on this retreat. But I know this…I showed up and I dove in! I have to be my own cheerleader like I would for others. I must tell myself that I’m proud of me for carving out the space, for diving in, to continue to try to find my writing voice, and share the material that feels so relevant to a world in transition.

As well, I must say, I did really well with historically workaholic boundaries – This retreat was intentionally 2 parts work 1 part rest. And I’m physically more well-rested at the end of the time than I ever have been. I will continue living out the material and the creative process that I feel so passionate about. From here, I rest assured knowing I will put another multi-day writing space on the calendar in 2021. I am one step at a time making space to continue bringing this little baby to life. In the meantime I will embrace the birthing pains. 

*What does a writing retreat look like for me? I don’t know what others do, but for those interested I’ll write the loose structure I followed below. Generally, I work in chunks with breaks and lots of incorporated movement.

*My Writing Retreat Rough Schedule

7-8am Quiet Time & get the day started Breakfast

8-9 Yoga/light stretching

9-12 Writing, consolidating ideas, opening too many new word documents!

12-1pm Stop for lunch & a conversation if I’m not too deep in

1-3 Back to writing

3-4 Take a nap, walk or a hike to a coffee shop

4-6 Write again & conclude for the day

6-7 Walk home from a coffee shop

7-8 Dinner (share learnings if with others in a creative process)

8- Play and relax for the evening 

In hindsight, I wished I would have wrote more with a pen and paper and did more drawing exercises to stimulate my brain more (like those I list in The Art of Transition Workbook). I would have spent less time on the computer editing and organizing, but it felt like that is where my brain needed to be to once again comprehend the material I was gathering.  

While the schedule above may appear as though I’m writing for a total of 7 hours a day, the truth is that the writing process includes the preparation in research, refinement, and illumination periods. The break times and movement are a vital part of the overall illumination process. They are the daily incubation that truly fuels the work.  Like many other artists I am researching have noted, “When I dance or walk or draw, my mind has half a chance at stillness.” It’s from the place of movement in my body and stillness in my mind that my greatest creative ideas come to life. 

“Great creative work doesn’t happen overnight. It took God 7 days and He’s God!”

For Deeper Thought:

Question: What creation lives inside of you that is waiting for courage or time to be birthed? What is one practical step you can take today to begin moving it outside of you and into the world?

Lacking Community? 5 Intentional Ways to Meet Relational Support Needs in 2020-21

Arguably the hardest part of transition is establishing a new place of belonging. One goes from a place of knowing how things work, feeling like you are missed when you are gone and welcome when you are present. Uprootedness causes great identity disorientation that for many, can lead to isolation, depression and worse.

I want to fast-forward through this predictable stage of re-entry. I want to bypass the need for small talk, and the year-long misunderstanding that I experience in not really being myself because of transition angst and growing pains. In these spaces I’m reminded this is normal. I turn to the great work by Joseph Myers, in his book The Search to Belong.

According to his research healthy relationships have undergone a natural progression through four spaces of belonging: Public, Social, Personal and Intimate. “Healthy community - the goal humankind has sought since the beginning - is achieved when we hold harmonious connections within all four spaces. Harmony means more public belongings than social, more social than personal and very few intimate.”

He goes on to state that for healthy relationships to exist, you must progress through these stages rather than step over one to get to the other. Not every relationship moves, some may stay in the public sphere (i.e. a neighbor, a pharmacist, or a parent of my children’s friend). Those that do move, move in a natural progression through public > social > personal > intimate. When the progression is bypassed, there is lack of trust, authenticity, misunderstanding and potential for shame.

During this time of a pandemic, when the public and social spaces are lacking, those in major life transition are especially disadvantaged in discovering places of belonging. How can they naturally progress if there is no public sphere to enter? While there is still a great need for being deeply known, new personal and intimate connections can not happen without the ability to meet people in the public spheres that are currently limited - like a ball game, a church service or a party.

And while we need people in all 4 categories, we most desperately need people in the personal and intimate.

So how does one find fulfillment, while simultaneously experiencing the natural strain of lacking community due to transition and now also to an enforced pandemic?

1. If at all possible, move to a place where you know at least one other person. While I recognize this is not always possible, I highly recommend it to all who have the opportunity to speak into their relocation’s geographical decision. Finding new friends as an adult is increasingly hard. Add a pandemic where people are leary to make new acquaintances and the possibilities become even fewer. While we may still feel the disconnect involved with transition, when there is at least one other person who has known us in the past, we feel a more stable and integrated part of us moving into the current location with us. To me having one friend is similar to having a life raft. Not meant to be reductive nor utilitarian, this friend can be an emergency plan. Not a forever plan; something or someone to lean on when the transition waters rise! When I’m feeling bewildered by the many new decisions and uncertain of how to get life done, I can call on someone…even just one person to hear me out and speak my language. 

2. Utilize social media gathering spaces such as web-based conferences and virtual learning platforms. While they do not suffice for intimate relationships, there is a host of options to provide the needed outside circles of social and public proximity spaces that Myers refers to.

3. Similarly I have used permissible meetups like outdoor hiking groups and Facebook groups to gain a better understanding of the greater geographic community I am living in. These platforms provide a welcome understanding that we are sharing something but not everything in common. When I share at the level the group is intended for, I feel known, understood and gain clarity on whether I want to move towards people in this group.

4. Take advantage of the unforeseen challenges of those friends that are stuck.  We all experienced many disruptions and inconvenient change of plans during these last several months. However, I have seen repeatedly people in places they were not expecting to be for an extended period of time. While a huge inconvenience for some, this pandemic provided an immeasurable blessing for others. For us, some of our closest friends from Spain who were taking a sabbatical stateside for 6 months had to extend their stay for several months due to the mandated travel bans. What this meant for us was both the presence of people who knew us, but also an extension of the me I used to be. I don’t love saying, “when I lived in Spain” or “just like when I was in Spain” to new people I meet. I understand it gets old really fast! These people from Spain, intrinsically get the differences and similarities and can celebrate the new alongside mourning that my heart will always be divided from this point on. These global nomads, and others who are stuck can provide a gift of support despite their unforeseen stuckness.

“…an extension of the me I used to be”

5. As we talk about transition with others, one way we discuss filing the loneliness in the in-between of having lost friendships and making new ones, is to find bridge people that will stay with you from one place to the next; whether that be via a weekly text or a monthly check-in. Not everyone can or will be able to provide this, but having a few close intimate supports, reminds you that you are known and loved and “held” is incredibly important in a time of transition when your identity is so confused.

In this particular transition, I asked four important people in my life to check in on my emotional health once a month for approximately 6 months. While four people was not a magic number, it distributed the responsibility across a few of my close supporters as each individual knows me and “cares” for me from a different angle. Four also fulfilled a once a week every month commitment. If one of them needed to skip a week, I don’t go a whole month without a check-in. In my case, two of these are helping professionals (coach and counselor) and two are close friends; all have journeyed with me for more than 4 years. I have others that check in too, but not as consistently and intentionally.

And just a sidenote: As transition coaches this bridge relationship is one role we provide for others in understanding and being with people in their way between. We get it. Finding people who get it and get you is the goal!

As I transition to a new country again now in my mid-40’s I recognize I’ve learned a few things from my many moves. 1. I NEED a few soft landing pieces in the form of people more than a house or a bed. I can go a long time without a “home” but not without people who get me. 2. My top priority in friendship is finding people who can track with me and understand my quirkiness, my sadness, my excitement and the me that is not just “new,” “awkward,” or “forgetful” Sara!

From the leaving and the losing, into the gap of not having, and then again into finding new ways of fitting in and belonging, these people who journey with me in that strange and bumpy road are my necessary bi-cultural bridges. I need to humbly ask people to stay with me however they can in this weird season of in between. This patient posture of togetherness fills the great chasm until I can be me more of myself. I truly need these bridge people and recognize what a different emotional place I’m in when I have them in my life.

Bi-cultural bridges are a lifeline between the old land and the new

We can utilize Myers work on belonging as a reminder that long-lasting, personal or intimate relationships take time. And intentionally seeking out a few relationships to bridge transition (and especially the pandemic), may provide the grace we need to stabilize and begin to gain our bearings.

For further thought:

What is your greatest social support need in transition?

Who can help meet that need that really gets you?

How do I know which transition service(s) I need?

Where is your journey currently taking you? Where does the terrain feel uncertain?

A few years ago, I finally got really honest with myself. I was perpetually frustrated with my work environment and irritable all the time. A wise colleague said he had seen it several times before, “If you’re not living out your leadership gifting you’re going to be perpetually discontent with the leaders around you.” This was my painful wake up call moment. I wasn’t living into my strengths and gifts, in particular my leadership gifts. I was critical and negative and felt STUCK without fully knowing it. I had small children at home and quite honestly I hated to admit my limitations. Excuses aside, I had to come clean that my criticism of others stemmed from my internal discontent. I would never thrive and be in a place of ultimate contribution until I was living into my calling. I was at a crossroads and had a decision to make. Was I going to keep complaining and be miserable to be around or was I willing to do something about it?

We all know someone like this. In fact if you’re honest, it may be you. We each reach a place of growth plateau in our development. Terry Walling, author of Stuck!: Navigating Life and Leadership Transitions, says there are 3 primary pivotal leadership transition points - late 20’s, mid 40’s and early 60’s.

Exactly true for me. Here I was at the turn of the decade in my 40’s. Where one has lived a little and determined what we can or can not put up with. We’ve seen good leaders and bad ones. We have stories to draw on and life experience to back up our decisions. We’ve experienced the working world for a number of years and start to see that our time is limited. It’s here people in their early 40’s experience a holy discontent and need objective outsiders and mentors who have gone before them to say truthful and sometimes hard things to challenge their developmental trajectory.

I thought I was on the right developmental track, but a few trusted mentors helped me realize that I needed to take time to be really honest about my situation and where my life was headed.

When people come to us as transition coaches, they are at a point of making a decision. A decision in leadership, or job change, role shift, or geographical move, to name a few. These are big decisions. And ones I don’t advise you go at alone. People come to us knowing they need something but don’t know where to start. We often hear, “What do I need? Where do I start?”

While there’s not a one-size fits all answer, this article explains The Way Between’s service offerings, including the questions you can ask yourself to coach yourself into a decision of which direction of care you need to focus on for your particular situation. You can see from our home page that The Way Between’s target audience is global workers in major life transition. However, the services are NOT limited to global workers only. You can also go to our services or event page to learn more about the many types of transition services we provide.

While knowing what is needed and where to start can sometimes be the hardest part on the journey. Here’s a short guide to lead you:

1. Start with, What statement(s) or complaints do I often hear myself saying: “I’m so tired. I hate this job. I’m overwhelmed with my workload. I need clarity. I wish I had more dreams.” These are your catalyst statements and indicators of where to start. These statements contain trigger words that I as a coach listen to, to determine what is most needed next.

2. Next ask yourself what question coincides with your catalyst statement? (There is a cheat sheet below for common statement/questions we hear). These are also indicators of what next steps to take. Example: “I am spread thin…Do I need to take some time off?” or, “I am in my 60’s and know my time on earth is limited…What is the best way to use my time and energy at this stage of life?”

3. Which one aspect of care do you need most? We work with people during vocational shifts, burnout, needing a sabbatical, leadership development or cross-cultural adjustment. Together we combine those statements, questions and our skills to determine fit. We have many tools and resources in our toolbelts to help with these questions. Below are a list of the top statements and questions we most often hear in this line of work. Listed alongside are a handful of the coinciding services that may assist you in creating a plan forward. Make note that individual coaching would provide you with a personalized approach and an understanding of other tools that may prove uniquely useful for your situation.

Paying attention to these statements as catalysts and questions as direction, can help you to begin to move ahead.

What statement(s) or complaints do I often hear myself saying most? These statements contain trigger words that I as a coach listen to, to determine what is most needed next.

Listed below is the Service Guide: Catalyst, Question and Service(s) Available Chart.

Listen to your internal nudge. What is one practical step you can take today to get you moving on the right path? Do any of these familiar to us statements + questions resonate with where you are at right now?

I am in my 60’s and know my time on earth is limited…What is the best way to use my time and energy at this stage of life?

Given my limitations of _____(time, money, resources, etc.), I’m finding it difficult to stay in my current role… What are my other options?

I am not experiencing fruit or enjoyment most of the time in my current role…should I stay in it?

I am spread thin…Do I need to take some time off?

I feel like I’m on the verge of burnout, there is just so much to do…How can I be intentional about how I use my time?

My kids are not thriving in school…Is that enough to uproot my family and repatriate?

I feel spiritually and emotionally dead…What can I do to regain momentum in this area?

I still feel angry at my past employer, spouse, or co-worker…Will I ever find peace?

Whether you have general or specific questions please don’t hesitate to ask. We, at The Way Between have a passion for serving people in major life transition, to live out their calling, make well-informed decisions, and reduce attrition through preventative measures. We offer competitively-priced and reduced-cost transition resources, personalized coaching and group workshops. We look forward to working with you.

For deeper reflection:

These statements are worth listening to. How often do you hear yourself saying them? Have others heard you say them? Ask! Where do you feel most stuck? What compels you to change? What inhibits you from doing anything about it?

Requesting Assistance: Who qualifies for Reduced-fee Services at The Way Between?

Who qualifies for reduced-fee services at The Way Between?

We at The Way Between believe that the future of non-profit work will entail a hybrid model of fees for service and donation or grant-based funds. We want to be upfront and honest with you about our pricing structure and welcome your feedback. We know these topics are often delicate and culturally-bound. However, our highest priority is to provide accessible and affordable services to those in need while being responsible stewards for what we have been given.

This page explains The Way Between’s intake process, including the types of cases we prioritize, as well as which clients are entitled to reduced-fee services. You can see from our home page that the target audience is global workers in major life transition. You can go to our events or service page or to the blog post designated to describing our types of transition services we provide.  

THE PROCESS:
Individuals and organizations submit an issue or desire through our online intake form. TWB then evaluates the request for assistance on many levels, primarily A) Is it within our expertise, B) Does the client qualify for reduced-fee services, C) Can we execute the services well, given our time and expertise. D. Are there other alternatives to receiving the needed care or resources. We will then get back to you to inform you if you qualify for your requested reduced-fee services. Note: If there are publicly listed options for the use a code for reduced-fee services and you qualify, you are welcome to chose that option. This method of fee structure is based on the “pay what you can” honor system.

HOW WE PRIORITIZE:

        A. To see if the work is within our expertise.  At this point, we focus on transition, re-entry and sabbatical care, coaching, and workshops. Much of the content we cover deals with issues of identity, calling, vocational discernment and change. When we work with global workers the complexity of the decision-making is magnified as families in transition consider many different angles related to one parent’s decisions of employments. Questions that arise in these situations are much more complicated with the answers having wide-spread effects including uprooting third-culture kids, needing to learn a new language, starting over, and a large move budget, just to name a few. These issues of transition are all well within our scope of why we provide services to help individuals, couples, families and organizations make better more-informed decisions with the best interest of all involved. Consult the services provided detailed list for further explanation. And when you, like I can pay more there are options, like the pay it forward concept on our giving page.

B. Can we execute the services well, given our time and expertise? We must consider whether we can execute these services well and the amount of resources we have. With the best interest of all client parties involved. These factors lead us to our extensive resource pool if indeed the answer is no.  

        C. Qualifying for Reduced-fee Services. If the request is within our area of expertise and we have the available time and resources, we must consider many angles. While working in the non-profit sector with clients across donation-based and voluntary status, we must consider highest need and our ability to “keep the lights on!” Those in low-access countries do have first priority of our limited reduced-fee services. We will consider whether we are the best fit to assist this individual or entity based on many factors. We ask that when you are requesting for reduced-fee services and assistance you consider the following angles:

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE:  

1. What can you pay? We at The Way Between understand that there are times and circumstances when there are needs greater than accessible funds. That is why we ask, “What, if anything can you pay?” For nearly two years I met with a very necessary and skilled counselor for $25/session. She was gracious to provide this service to me at a greatly reduced cost. Her skills were worth much more than I was able to pay. It was a gift I new I would pay forward someday and she could honestly accept my low payment as one of her few reduced-fee clients because others were paying significantly more. I knew that my $25/session was investing financially in my own care at the max of what I could afford at that time. This was an immeasurably significant value to my emotional and spiritual health. I stretched myself to the place I could to receive this necessary service and developmental care. We at The Way Between have priced our costs to account for the needs of our clients. There are times when we are able to take more reduced-fee clients than other times.

2. When we are limited on providing reduced-fee services we ask people that we provide services to, to carefully pray and consider asking 3 of their own donors for personal funding the service they are requesting. While this may be a new concept to many, it is our personal conviction that those who know you and believe in you, will continue to invest in you because of the relationship you have. Your story of tragedy and triumph is what you have to share. We can share generally about it second-hand (because of the confidential nature of our work), but it is much more powerful heard first-hand and directed at those who know your heart. When you ask your donors for your care, they are personally investing deeper in your sustainability in service and will see the results, as well! Often, we have been surprised that there are people waiting to be asked. It just requires us to humbly .

3. Consider asking your organization. Many organizations have limited care services available. And yet simultaneously they may have resources such as grants or organizational funds available for crisis care, treatment and development or retention services. They know that your care will sustain you for better and more effective long-term service. A price worth paying for in the long run.

4. Availability of service. Individuals requesting services that are otherwise not available receive priority. However, there are more needs than there are typically services. Once all of these three previous requests are considered, we then consider our highest need/lowest resourced requests. Particular preference is given to individuals in difficult or low access countries who have limited resources available to them.

As you can see, there are multiple angles to consider 1. Expertise 2. Execution of Service availability and 3. Highest need. In the end, we may ask, can we use some self-guided method to get similar results? or Can we refer you to a trusted colleague?

Whether you have general or specific questions please don’t hesitate to ask. We, at The Way Between have a passion for serving global workers in major life transition, to live out their calling, make well-informed decisions, and reduce attrition through preventative measures. We offer competitively-priced and reduced-cost transition resources, personalized coaching and group workshops. We look forward to working with you.