Beware: The Library & Re-entry Shock
/Throughout the duration of the 8 years that we lived as a family on the field, we repeatedly attempted to figure out how the book world worked. Every time we thought we had a grasp on it, we quickly realized we didn’t. Now several months in to our repatriating process, we finally have enough capacity to tackle this great resource. Or maybe not!
As we entered the foreign living and language life, it took us several years to discover a good library with books that held my children’s attention in their new foreign language. As years passed and our language grew, the options opened up. As well, did our ability to learn where we could find English books. (Reading in our mother tongue was always more enjoyable to absorb and listen to when read out loud). We celebrated the small accomplishments of finding resources, and yet still longed for the ease of a full buffet of English learning that we knew the American library system provided.
And here I was in my home country again and none of it felt right. The truth: The library was one of the most lamented parts of raising my children abroad. In the two years that passed in waiting to move overseas, we utilized all of the free special events offered via the library - movies on the lawn, DVD rentals and a vast array of other cultural options FREE just for the knowing. I have fond memories of a weekly bonding experience with my then 2 year-old son – bike ride in the frog seat + story time! The idea that there are such a vast amount of resources and the ability to learn so many amazing things at anyone’s disposal, amazed me. I felt like a kid in a candy store! And yet I didn’t realize how much I loved and missed it until we would visit on home assignment. With great intentionality, I would make it a priority to check out the local library even if I squeezed it in between meeting people or being with family or having to borrow a local friend’s library card. Surprisingly, It became a top priority!
During my early days of re-entry, when I finally stepped foot inside one of the MANY local libraries, I was quickly faced head on with the fact that I felt like a foreigner in my own land. I felt the overwhelm at the literally hundreds and thousands of titles of books for my or my child’s liking. I had a fleeting thought wondering, “were all of these books written in the decade since I was gone? Where does one start?” Crazy though it may sound, It was a deep and profound feeling of homelessness. A feeling that I didn’t really know or understand how things worked anymore. The fear crept in that I may not ever get past this feeling of weird.
The book, The Art of Coming Home explains this out of place phenomena by saying. “You can accept that you are not going to fit in abroad in what is after all a foreign country, but the idea that you don’t fit in back home, where you are in all likelihood going to spend much, if not the rest, of your life, is deeply disturbing.” It’s the little things like entering a beloved place such as the library that trigger those feelings of lack of understanding and belonging. It’s the reminder that you don’t know how to get things done here, either that is a frequent and painful feeling of strangeness for a duration of up to several years! And a longing for a place that is home.
“You can accept that you are not going to fit in abroad in what is after all a foreign country, but the idea that you don’t fit in back home, where you are in all likelihood going to spend much, if not the rest, of your life, is deeply disturbing.”
Like stepping foot in an average grocery store in my re-entry, I found my heart started racing in the library and my mind quickly became overwhelmed with how to navigate it all. I was in sensory overload similar to that of a new foreign country! I knew to seek out a librarian but I didn’t know what questions to ask - Simply put, what happened to the card catalogs? Where do I even begin?
Audiobooks, DVD’s, read-along books, packaged theme books…the offerings seemed unending and that was only what was in the brick and mortar library building. Here I was, nearly breaking out in a sweat at both excitement and overwhelm, recognizing the symptoms as classic re-entry shock. And yet I’m bound and determined that there are resources I knew not of that I would be glad to know if only I could persist and like too much of any good thing - pace myself.
I’m aware that I may have subconsciously waited 12 weeks to tackle this beast for this very reason. I accessed the same tools I did in crossing culture in the other direction, I used the limited language I had and asked a librarian for a tour of this new land! “What is a digital download? Explain what the difference is in all of these options?” Met with a smile and a look of surprise, the librarian obliged. I however, quickly changed my mind and decided I would wait for my kids to join and use it as a family learning experience. I wasn’t ready for my brain to take in all that would be shared. This feeling of information overload and possibility would have to wait.
And while I wanted to eat large offerings from this buffet in short periods of time, I have to recognize my operating at 60% capacity in transition brain that says, “Slow down. Take your time. It will all still be here a year from now!” Take, eat, enjoy, and share!
Let me share a few of my learnings here in case you’re like me and not quite ready for the stimulation overload.
Getting a library card was tremendously easier than it ever has been in the past. No proof of home address was needed this time. I wish I had been more diligent about pursuing this during furloughs.
I will likely never need to buy another book again in my life! My request-to-order books were met with a desire to be bought into the system for all to enjoy.
I can check out up to 99!, yes, 99! books per library card. I’m not sure who decided that number but apparently it’s the rule as well, it is up to me as a parent to decide what I want to be responsible for! I’m limiting my children to 5.
Summer reading programs give amazing gifts! Like a full family meal out and a free book for each person who participates or a local park pass!
When I search for a book in the actual library there is a high probability that it will be found on one of several online library systems that are also available to me. This is the part where I always get stuck! This is my learning curve. I am learning to accept these curves as opportunities.
These online systems can be used on any smart device. Hoopla and Libby are examples and are apps that are shared by the library systems. They each have their own rules and regulations as well as limitations of what they carry.
The library has so many local free options like a culture pass. We can use our zoo, botanic gardens, science museum, dinosaur museum, get a state parks pass and much more FOR FREE! Just by having a local library card!
There are classes and services such as branding and grant-writing that are accessible through the library.
There are (or at least were before Covid) teen mentors who can sit and read with your learning to read in English child!
While living abroad, I knew I missed the plethora of English options available in the halls of the local American library systems. However I had no idea to what extent these services ranged. Coming back to the US, I was both amazed and often overwhelmed by the abundance available, just for the knowing. The library was and is one such system of surprise! And although I’m still on a steep learning curve, far from mastering this system/treasure/trigger, I’m one step closer to understanding the great, big, wonderful, wide world known as the US library and my lack of language and capacity in re-entry. I simultaneously accept the limitations and am excited about the unlimited possibilities.
Thoughts to consider:
Where did you or are you experiencing re-entry shock, most? What did you immediately do about it?